I get asked sometimes “what exactly is it you are looking
for” “what do you want to do”? It is a repeating question and is usually asked by
a female, a girlfriend if you like. I find it a most frustrating question as it
asks for a definitive answer. As if life was that simple! I could say, “I want
a boat a small but adequate stipend and a lovely partner to share it with. I
could equally say “ I would like something to do that allows a release of
creativity without the responsibility of working in some life sapping drudge of
a job” I could say a whole load of things and I know they would all be
considered “unrealistic without performing some duty to society”! Well the
problem is: I don’t accept “society” as it is currently designed. It is a
crock. It is false, it is a sham, it is a pale and diluted drizzle of human
potential in ANY of its current forms. Yes there are some people doing things
that are an attempt at living harmoniously with nature and the relentless drive
to try and discover “what a human is” people who have not been conned into
thinking “life” is all about what one does within a society and releasing some
heavily flawed sense of “human potential” but even those people seem to me to
be selling themselves short. I think the root of this “problem” is that the
very foundation of what we are is totally obfuscated by a myriad of “truths”!
I am even adding to that by writing this, “words”! Fucking “words”
one of the most “manipulatable” inventions ever created.
Every one of you reading this will be taking it in based on
a “previous” set of words that you have absorbed into “your reality” and all of
those previous words will have been “designed” by someone to persuade/convince
you that they represent “truth”. The older I get the more evidence comes out
that words that described previous events were total bullshit. Even the “actions” of people are based on
words that describe/d something that then prompted them to “act” and although a
lot of those “actions” are evident, the background to those actions isn’t
necessarily what they seem. A simple example being the recent “invasions” of
other countries. Yes that old Chestnut. It would take a pretty ignorant nay
moronic person, to be still thinking the west acted out of compassion or on the
pretext of liberty for invading the places it has unless of course you have
already decided that mainstream media is “truth” and all other media “lies”? Or
vice versa? Fact is: “we don’t know” we can only surmise based on whatever
bullshit we are subjected too, and that goes for both sides. Personally I read
mainstream media; BBC, CNN, Fox, The Guardian, Mail etc and then Global
Research, Real News Network, Washington Blog, King World news etc and then try
and decipher a crumb of truth! Anyone who hasn’t “blocked” my news feed on FB
(most have!) will see an eclectic mix of opinion, possibly even a schizophrenic mix and I admit it does not have any coherent
thread of opinion running through it; but how in the hell could it? Well,
without first “allying” with a particular view? Is it nice and comfortable
choosing a side and then supporting it vehemently? I ask because I can’t seem
to do that. That isn’t to say I don’t agree with some views, I just cannot look
at it as “isolated” from everything else.
What I really don’t need is someone telling me “what it is
all about”! Forgive the apparent arrogance but you don’t know what it is all
about. Yes you have a beautiful philosophy (usually created by “someone else”)
be it Buddha or JC or yogi swami guru upyourarseibaktivadentamushbloke, but it
is still just that, a philosophy, a beautiful idea of what it could be like and
usually appeals to those who want us all to be loving and peaceful (not a bad
idea really) but I am quite prepared to accept that maybe it could all be just a
dream of ending our meanness towards each other and that it is just as possible
we are wild enough to use one another to make our own life more comfortable. (Banker
politician armed robber etc) no one has come back from the dead and said “right,
this is what it is all about folks now crack on and get your arse enlightened”!
for me being “enlightened” is more about being able to accept I am “biological”
and cosmic (same thing imo) there is no separation between me a lion, a rat, a
slug, a flower, a car a planet an idea, or whatever you like to think of.
depending on the circumstances I could kill you or love you (those
circumstances of course would be the result of my interpretation of whatever “words”
had been used to describe how I should think ;-) if you are shocked that I say “I
could kill you” don’t be, by aligning yourself with a political ideology you
are killing people every day of your life, it just doesn’t feel like it because
you are not actually doing the deed yourself. It is no different from someone
hiring a hit-man to do away with a competitor it is still just “words” that
create the justification.
Someone said to me the other day “your problem Tony is you
think too much”, inside, I chuckled, yep, that’s right, I “think” all the time.
Admittedly it has lead to inertia! (physically) but I don’t think I am too wide
of the mark thinking most people “don’t think enough” and that is why we are
fucked. Someone else said “if we start to think positively (positive being a
matter of opinion!) Then it will multiply and eventually it will permeate the
very fabric of society and things will start to improve, having “good” thoughts
will have an effect on some hitherto unseen force and slowly the collective
consciousness will become enlightened”! Phew! What a lot of words! Words that
most people couldn’t possible entertain because they are thinking about whether
to have a Big Mac or a Pizza for tea. (For those who have already closed their
minds, please insert opinionated “label” describing me here)
Personally I think my arrival on this planet was either
incredibly premature or extremely late. I feel like an observer. It doesn’t
look any different in essence than any period in history you care to mention. It
is certainly “dressed up” differently. But the fundamentals are the same and
whatever you believe it doesn’t look like changing significantly in the near
future.
An example. The “Arab spring” a group of people motivated (possibly
by western agitators) to kick out their despotic regime and demand an end to
their oppression. “It ain’t gonna happen”! So far they have removed Mubarak and
then been controlled by the military. Now there is a concerted effort to
replace Mubarak with another political regime, and until the people accept
whatever new corruption it is replaced with, the military will keep them in
place. Call me a cynic (call me whatever you like, I don’t care) but the new
will be the same as the old. It will answer to whatever the west wants but it
will “explain” it differently. The fact is that the world is controlled by “warlords”
always has been and they have no intention of losing power.
Once upon a time a big tough mean ugly bloke gathered a few
other not quite as big ugly mean men around him and said, let’s go get stuff
from those people preoccupied with providing food for themselves. We will kill
them or threaten to if they don’t give us what we want and so they did and the
people who were preoccupied with providing for themselves did say, please don’t
hurt us, take what you want. And it is the same today as it ever was; it is
just dressed up in different words. Ironically, these private armies that once
preyed on the population now say they are there to “protect” us from other
armies or from other peaceful people busy trying to provide for themselves. Whereas
once it was a simple matter of big horse big sword and a “real” threat of violence
that could be “seen” and felt, it is now hidden amongst a load of “words”, of a
threat from a different people. I am willing to believe that if you were to
take the largest percentage of ANY people from ANY country, they would have
absolutely NO desire to invade one another. And when they do invade it is
because a bunch of words were used to persuade them it was necessary.
The palpable feeling of having my freedom threatened never
comes from Iran or Afghanistan or wherever, it comes from my own people. When Blair
was lying about Iraq I had no idea Sadaam was intending to invade or kill me. Yes
there were some nutters (very few I might add) blowing things up in the UK and
elsewhere but really, were hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians “really” to
blame? If my argument of “tacit approval” holds water then yes they were, just
as we all are for allowing our respective governments/armies free reign to ride
roughshod over foreign soil but then we don’t really have any say in the matter
do we.
I think we should have the mother of all wars and it should
be, “a war on words.” Words must be eradicated once and for all and people can
only “do” based on individual experience. For those who might say, but words
have created so many wonderful things in the world I would ask “have they”? For
who? In what way? There are many billions more people living in awful
conditions than people living in good conditions. (If the media is to be believed
;-0 )
