Sometimes I can’t believe how easy I am to con. It is true I “think” a bit too much but in doing so I find I am able to seriously look into myself as well as others. Voltaire said “no problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking” so, for all the possible “negatives” of being a “thinker” there are actually some advantages. Couple that with a natural “intuition” and a subconscious “insight” and I “feel” I should be aware of most possibilities. It still comes as a surprise to realise that in matters of the heart I am often wrong. Well, not a surprise really is it? It must be one of the commonest failings in human history! And the plethora of “reasons”? Given by the respective parties as to “why” it didn’t work are Shakespearian in number.
It seems to me the real answer in many cases might well be “I am bored of this, I want to try someone else” but “honesty rarely exhibits itself in these situations. How unpleasant it would feel to be told after being told “I love you” that that love has quickly become something so far removed from what Love is likely to be! If there was ever an overused deceitfully used word “Love” must be it!
Someone put a comment on their wall that said “when we cease to judge, only then can we be free” it sounds great, a clever and thoughtful statement but as it doesn’t define what “free” is, it leaves it open to individual interpretation (as do ALL the maxims proverbs etc) what, may I ask is the point of that? It occurred to me the other day that if we took all the wonderful wise sayings and put them all together as a manner by which to live your life, you “wouldn’t have a life”! And if we simply choose the ones that “appeal” to whatever trip we are currently on, we’re just using them to bolster a personal opinion or a desirous way of life. Which may be fine for you but not for someone else! As none of us have any right to make a decision about what is right for everyone it seems to me a pointless and rather selfish way to be. And of course monumentally judgemental. Not to mention arrogant.
“I” don’t know what is “right” for mankind! And frankly, I couldn’t give a damn. I will leave that supreme arrogance to a deity. What I do know is what is right for me and what I want from those I choose to be with, either friend or lover. As it would be an impossibility to surround oneself with friends who think exactly like I do, I know it is ok to have differences, but I wouldn’t accept differences that are abhorrent to me.
The really tricky one is your “lover”! I am sure I am not the first to recognise that rationale quickly takes the first plane out of it when two people fall in love. It is a bit like two salespeople trying to sell each other the same product from the same company but representing it totally differently. When I was still a teenager albeit on the last year of it, I somehow ended up selling jewellery, it was complete and utter crap. Electro-plated alloy that had the appearance of gold and the weight of dust (obviously a very small quantity of dust!) it was made to look like the same items in Samuels and Ratners catalogues and we sold it…………………….from our cars! We would go to a town and hunt for punters. There were certain groups that I was told were perfect for selling this rubbish to. Butchers, Publicans, people walking out of betting shops (the smiling ones!) anyone driving a “green” car! The guy I worked under was a master and would even go up to traffic cops and sell them the stuff! The reason for this little recollection is that Nick told me that people were greedy and that although we would not overtly mis-sell the stuff, we would “allow” them to draw their own conclusions; problem was (for me anyway) they “didn’t” draw their own conclusions! They were “manipulated” into coming to the conclusions “we” knew they would come to. I hated it and it only lasted a few weeks.
The expression “Move on” strikes me as the most barbarous attitude to have when something one “felt” was deep and beautiful comes to an end. “Move on”? If said with compassion it may be less offensive but when said like “talk to the hand………….” It has an ugliness about it that doesn’t come from the same realm as love. If love is genuine it goes deep, very deep. It isn’t something one “moves on” from with any degree of ease. I have only done it a couple of times and boy was it difficult to “move on” from! “I” am very happy about that because to me it ratified the sentiment in the first place. If you are able to move on in a matter of a few weeks and even contemplate having sex with another within that time I don’t feel there was anything but a shallow meaningless attachment there in the first place, and “That” IS easy to move on from! Problem is; “you are not likely to be honest enough to say that”!
So “Judging”? Judging is vital part of figuring out what the fuck is going on. A judgement is a conclusion (right or wrong) it seems to me that if we do not make any judgements we are going to stand still. A man enters your house one night brandishing a gun or knife and behaves in a manner you (?????) to be what? Let’s say you have decided to be “non-judgemental” what do you “think” is going to happen? Adopting a “non-judgemental” stance is gonna get you robbed and raped and killed, (possibly) you need to make a “judgment” and bloody quickly to stand any chance of surviving.
It is absolutely fine to be non judgemental in an environment where “everyone else” is in the same frame of mind and that is an absolute truth for every other “enlightened” state. But, we don’t really have a clue what other people’s motives/ agendas are. They say one thing and then do another. They preach a certain “way” and then contradict it in action.
I know people who preach love and light and say they live their lives that way, yet if someone who they deem to “talk” too much comes into their world they conspire to get rid of them “in a loving way of course”! They do not “love” everyone as they profess; they love themselves and anyone else who “fits in” to their way, that, is entirely different to pure love. These people refer to general society as “Babylon” and have a derogatory attitude towards it. This is strange because without it, they would shrivel and die! Their philosophy is contra Babylon; their views towards those who live in it are less than flattering and inherently mistrustful of it. In “their” world they talk love light and Paz but NOT for everyone! Just those who live off the backs of that “Babylon”. One of these “enlightened ones” carried out a deal on a job that had “Babylonian” method all over it but sees it as a “mistake” but has the gall to denigrate those who make the same “Mistake” within Babylon!? that is pure hypocrisy (a Judgement) some, who know this person get all lyrical about “forgiveness” of his behaviour yet find it nigh on impossible to apply the same to………..Babylonians! Very strange “Love Light & Paz”. There are some genuine progressive people in that world who have understood the relationship between different ways and have simply decided which way “they” want to live. They have no selfish agenda, no attitude towards other ways, and no hypocrisy in their living. They have “open and inquisitive” minds that understand there isn’t “one way” and they welcome Babylonians (that makes me laugh every time I hear it) without “judging” them. Some of them are nothing more or less than “Babylonians in dreadlocks”.
Now some have said I am “arrogant” (some have been “non-judgemental hippies”!) and I believe that to be a ……………..”Judgemental” word! I find this duality everywhere and quite often among those who have lauded the “non-duality”? I am quite ok with being called arrogant, it is just another label applied by another “labeller”! I am completely at peace with myself even though it sometimes seems not. Inside I have no “confusion” about people and their capabilities. “Balance is often used to describe “what I need to achieve”! “balance”? What is that? I am seeing scales here, I am seeing love on one side and possibly hate on the other? I am feeling that the “love” side has a few positions from up to middle to down and anything in-between. Some have said that it should be level, neutral, NOT any of the extremes; that doesn’t quite seem “realistic” to me! “Love” (by my definition) is a multi faceted emotion; it comes in all densities of feeling depending on the person/thing it is directed at felt for. If it IS supposed to be the same for everything/one then we are fucked! In cold hard language Man gets “hard” for a particular person and “that” ensures continuation. If the “lurve” is one long grey line that continuation ain’t happenin because with the best will in the world “I” cannot get it on with someone I do not find attractive. Unless of course I got that wrong too and am supposed to find “everyone” attractive!! Nope, I am totally at ease with the love I have for parents, the love for my children, the love for my partner and the love for my friends (and there are many more for siblings deities etc) they ALL have the same “root” but they “Need” to be distinguishable from each other or we are in deep shit. Those who believe it is a universal emotion to be shared equally among all men are going to experience something, no doubt, but are they really going to look on their partner, child, parent, friend in the “same” way!!
We have to accept a few things I think, a few things about “what” we are and our place in the universe. The “only” hard facts are that we are carbon based creatures in a carbon based world, the rest however it is described, is speculation. It relies on the individual to accept something they “believe” to be true. I have no doubt there are phenomena that defy explanation, I have been able to link with this “unknown” before, and am in a very different place to my apparent surroundings. I tried analysing it once but decided it was “beyond” my necessary comprehension and should just accept its existence. What I didn’t do was give it some “man-made” explanation! Why on earth would I “need” to?
You may have noticed an apparent contradiction between what I have just said and what I “quoted” earlier by Voltaire? Well, no problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking can’t possibly apply to something we have no evidence of. And anyway, who says things spiritual are a “problem”? (Not the man-made religions, they DO need some sustained assaulting!)
TBC
