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Nobody could speaketh the “word” because the vocal chord structure had not developed beyond “grunting” which even so, was a great improvement on the oo oo a sound that had previously been the means of communicating.
A time passed (and it was a damn sight longer than seven days, I can tell you!) and many multiples of peoples happened. As a result of an overwhelming desire to respond to a totally natural feeling of wanting thex. (The vocal chords were still developing but hadn’t mastered the “S” sound)
One evening whilst sitting staring into the flames of the fire, a man thought to himself, “I am bigger and stronger than that other man and I want what he has” and so, he beat him about the head with a large piece of “wood” and did take all his possessions including his bird! And then, another man did the same thing and then another until………. There were many tough men causing all sorts of trouble for the weaklings. Another time passed and the tough men started fighting with each other until there was only one who could not be beat. He did organise the tough men into a hierarchy of strong men that would become “Lords and masters” and they did control all the weaklings and did make them work bloody long hours for very little!
After another interminably long period, the weaklings did “sneak out at night” and “Talk “and they talked a lot of nonsense until one day one of them actually had a good idea. They knew they couldn’t fight the masters with their fists so they decided to use their Brains. And so it came to pass that a “Story” would be made up about something you “Couldn’t see” you couldn’t get it here on Earth either so that would really pisseth of the tough men! The story would henceforth be called “The Babble” it would talk of Virgins and plenty, and it would counter this with fire and ugly people, this would surely anger the toughies and make them want it!
It was known that this story would take a long time to get any credibility but the weakling were patient also. They would add to the story with tales of eternal life and shit and talk of a “Great King” that would come and save the slaves
The weaklings too decided they needed a hierarchy and so decided to create priests and vicars and Rabbi and all kinds of strangely named positions. Many were slaughtered by the toughies because they were getting a bit “uppity” but the weaklings didn’t have any choice but to continue with the story. And soon they were legion and even the toughies knew they had a problem on their hands and so they “did a deal” with the top weaklings and agreed to milk the really dozy ones for all they could. It was the “double whammy”!
The toughies created “Laws” and the Storytellers created “fears” and lo, Joe Public was well and truly stuffed!
The Lords would ride over the lands stealing from the peasants and raping everything and the Church of the Babble would say “asketh ye the Lord for help”! And so many confused and distraught peoples had to make some decisions. Some would pay homage to the Lords and Masters and in return only have to accept being slaves, and the rest decided on the “Long shot” and went for the fairytales and everlasting life in a hitherto unproved place.
Another Age passed and many thousands of Believers of the Babble were slain. But this just strengthened the resolve of the weaklings and they did grow in number, the parents would tell these stories to the young susceptible children and that was a mean trick but it worked. The children grew up with this story and believed it to be true. Their number grew until the balance of power was in their hands! And then began……….. “The Dark ages” where the weaklings did nasty stuff to anyone who questioned the Babble. So many generations had passed and the “story” was now the law. And the “Law” was an Arse.
Chi Zeus:
Chi Zeus:
A great Hippy who was called “Chi Zeus” had wandered the lands of the chosen ones many years before the dark ages and he was not best pleased with them! His Mother “Mary Jane” was cool but his father worked with…………… “The WOOD” and was a miserable git. Chi had visited one of the places of money worship and lost his rag at all the money lenders, he also visited one of the “Storytellers” and did “wipe the floor with him intellectually”! And so was banished.
Chi decided to visit India as it was known to be a place of great spirituality and cool drugs. And Goa was still pretty unspoilt.
He learned all sorts of clever tricks while he was there and learned that we could “ALL” do them if we managed to avoid being enslaved and brainwashed. He was beside himself, which even he admitted was a clever trick!
Chi, for some odd reason, thought he could teach the toughies and weaklings a new way and so he caught a Camel back to his home town and started telling “another story”. Chi knew these people were a bit thick and so he disguised his stories as simple parables in the hope they would get the message; they didn’t!
He explained many times the theory of allegorical symbolism but alas they just said “can you do that trick with the water to wine again, oh go on be a sport”!
Many years passed and he did draw unto him “12”! Disciples but one of them was a wrongun!
Jew D’ Arse who Chi Zeus had renamed Judas (for obvious reasons!) had struck a deal with the Romans, he was in hock with Moshe the money lender for 4.5 pieces of silver but being a sensible Jewish boy, he negotiated an extra 1.5 pieces for a rainy day. “CZ” as he was known to his friends, was duly nabbed and then tried and convicted of being too nice.
But there was a special offer on at the time and the people were given the choice of a murdering blaggard called “Barabbas” or “CZ the peaceful”
“Hang the Hippy” they all shouted, and so it was done.
CZ had learned to slow his heartbeat down to a beat or two a minute and so when the Romans put their ears to his chest they decided he was done. He was taken down and stuffed into a cave with a sheet wrapped around him and when they did closeth the entrance to the cave with a big rock. CZ did awaken and piss himself laughing! It left a stain on the shroud and was a bugger to get out!
He then moved the rock using telekinesis and went back to India.
Back in the Dark ages there were some right old capers being done.
The lands and possessions were being divided up between all the nasty bastards and the peasant did wail much. But between brutal landlords and brutal churchmen he didn’t stand a hope in hell.
The landlords would scare the shit out of them with unambiguous threats of rape torture and disembowelling, and the church………..well, some of that too but also the big one. As if it wasn’t bad enough trying to make a few bob on earth, if you didn’t give it to one or other of the toughie groups, you could “Go to HELL”!
The system went a little like this:
Farmer woodman tinker or whatever was told he needed “protecting” from other baddies and so he paid taxes to the toughies. The Church told him he needed “Protecting” from himself!! And so he paid them too. The toughies scared him with “Earthly” torment and the Church with everlasting torment!
But the peasant started revolting much and the toughies (who had now called themselves the establishment) decided to trick the peasant by holding elections which meant he could choose between one arsehole or another! And so it was done, and the peasant suckered for the con and it became accepted as normal. Although often with a curse.
