Back in the mid eighties I met a man who we shall call “Sooty” (That was his codename)
Sooty worked at Colchester CID and was the neighbour of a friend at the time. I was unemployed (Around the time of the great wind 87 I think)
Sooty befriended me and said I seemed like the type that might enjoy “adventure”! He was right, I did. The proposition went something like this:
Within the CID there is a “slush-fund” that is used to support/fund people who act for the police in certain covert operations. At the time there was a deal of interest in the “Socialist Workers Party” Sooty described it as a group that infiltrated March’s and rally’s and deliberately caused disruption. What the police wanted was someone on the ground to report back to them of the members and details about theses rallies.
He explained in detail how I was to go about getting involved and told me of the Guy who sold the SWP paper near Sheregate steps. He said I was to become “dishevelled” and just buy the paper and move on. I was to do this many times before the guy would suggest I might be interested in joining them or coming to a meeting.
He said that I should develop an appearance that might not be to my liking and that I should ignore friends or family if they saw me with these guys.
One of the conditions for me to take this one was that I should not have any outstanding warrants or fines or suchlike. The police would not want to use anyone with “Current” issues. In return things like my car tax insurance etc would be “taken care of” they wouldn’t pay me but would make sure I had no costs in certain areas.
He asked me to give him my full name so he could check me out at the nick and suggested I give the matter some serious thought as it was quite a dangerous situation to get involved in. he also said I was to tell absolutely no one about what he had told me including family and that he would simply deny everything if it came out.
Well “that” sounds like a jolly jape, I thought! Sort of “James Bond” without Brioni! Er, or a gun, or fancy car, or support or Q, in fact fuck all like James Bond really!
He said I should “think about it carefully as it could be dangerous!” and I would not be thanked appreciated or get any recognition for it. Well I decided to break the first rule straight away! My dad was Military Police for many years and I thought he might be able to give me some guidance, so I told him the whole thing and said “what do you think”? He simply replied, “You must make your own mind up”! It wasn’t quite what I wanted to hear, I wanted him to offer some guidance but I also thought just in case it goes pear shaped, I want someone to know what was happening.
A few days later Sooty came to me and told me I had a warrant out for my arrest! I was surprised but he said it was just for non payment of a £50.00 fine and that if I still wanted to be his bitch (he didn’t use that term!:)) then he would arrange for me to visit the Police station and it would all be sorted amicably. Otherwise, he said, I could just forget it and he would carry on as if we never met. No arrest no hassle from the Plod. Well, I wanted this warrant dealt with anyway; I didn’t even know I had any outstanding fines!
A couple of days later Sooty has arranged for me to go to the Station and be arrested and bailed with no fuss. I would appear in court and pay the fine and then I could start the shenanigans with the SWP.
Out of curiosity, I decided to see who this SWP guy was, Sooty had painted a nasty picture of him but I like to see for myself.
I took a walk into town and he was where Sooty said he would be. A geeky looking guy but with a look of menace in his eyes.
I was dressed in jeans and combat jacket with red and white polka dot scarf and so I didn’t think I looked “establishment” anyway.
As I walked passed him he offered me a paper. I stopped and thought “fuck it, why not” so I said ok. He then started talking to me, this wasn’t supposed to happen! Sooty had definitely said he would wait until he got to know my face. Well he didn’t, we talked and then he invited me to a meeting which was being held upstairs at the Blue Boar. I was simply going with the flow so I said ok and we left it at that.
I couldn’t get hold of Sooty before the meeting so decided to go anyway, after all, what harm could it do.
The meeting consisted of the SWP paper seller and 4 other people. It seemed Colchester didn’t have a very active branch yet and what he wanted was for us to recruit………Disempowered, unemployed, and generally rough and tough members. There was talk of why SWP was doing these rallies and yes the objective “Was” to disrupt them, it seemed more like an “Anarchist group” than a “Socialist” one.
He said we had to form a committee and needed chairman, treasurer, admin etc. I was made treasurer! It was moving fast but at that age I didn’t give a damn, it was interesting!
So, meeting ended and we went our separate ways. I did make one mistake!! I gave him my home phone number!
I managed to get hold of Sooty later and told him what had happened, he was not happy! He said it was all too quick and he hadn’t even got “approval” to use me from his superior! “I” wasn’t best pleased either! So much for “it will take a while for them to accept me”! I wasn’t exactly prepared for this so soon.
It never happened in the end, Sooty didn’t contact me and I didn’t get involved with the SWP. The Guy called the phone a few times but I never followed any of it up.
“What would have happened if I HAD”? well, I decided that if I did get involved with them I would tell them what I had been asked to do and use the situation to turn it around on Plod! In just a few weeks I had gone from James Bond to Antony Burgess!
I am glad it never happened; I “talk” too much and would have made a lousy Spy.
update.
update.
I know quite a few Policepeople and actually get/got on with them very well. One said to me many years ago that there was a very fine line between a Crook and a Copper and that some Coppers crossed it. Obviously it isn’t possible for a Crook to cross in the other direction! “He” can only go one better and become “Straight”! I met one of these ex cops here in Spain; he had been medically discharged after having been thrown through a shop window by a nasty crook. He had sustained serious injuries as a result and was pensioned off. Some of the things he told me were quite incredible and mostly unrepeatable.
If you have read any of my previous ramblings, you will know I have had some pretty underhand treatment from the boys in suits but I never really thought it was odd! I accepted that there was a “game” being played and as a crook the odds were “stacked” (Luckily!)
Being an “Accidental crook” is complete stupidity! Just as in any other “occupation”, you just can’t do it properly by accident, you need training and the police score well on this level because an Accidental crook is usually a plonker whereas the CID are well trained. It’s no contest really.
I was brought up very well, well, what I mean is, I was given all the correct tools and had no misunderstandings about “right and wrong” (as defined by society) so I “Knew” lying was wrong (generally) and stealing (likewise, generally) I was also led to believe that society was a “Fair and just” place and that it functioned within certain honourable constraints. That, of course is total bollocks! It only does that if you “play along with it” and if you don’t want to play the same game, you are stuffed.
Anyway, I have found “uniformed Police” to be on the whole, good people working for bad people. The lower the rank the more honourable the intention. But unfortunately they have superiors who have agenda’s and those agendas are covert.
I met a guy here who was attached to Interpol; the circumstances by which I met him are best left out of it until or unless I get permission from the relevant people.
He was a nice guy and even suggested “throwing a spanner in the works” on one occasion that would have been “useful” to me. I didn’t take him up on the offer and certainly didn’t want to be “beholding” to him.
I was the Cook at the Foresters Arms in Colchester back in the eighties and this Pub was frequented by all sorts of Law industry workers. Including CID, I even got invited to the CID ball once!
One of the Cids sold me a car while I was there. He used to be a car sales man before joining the force. It was a blue Citroen GSA. I paid £200.00 for it and it was fine for…………..a day! Then the clutch went. I was recounting this event to a Cid one day and he was very angry at the other Cid. There was going to be a party of Cids at the pub celebrating some event and I was tasked with providing the food/buffet. I did consider putting half a kilo of Cascara or sennapods in the buffet but thought better of it.
The Cid who was pissed off at the Car sales Cid suggested we get him back!
The reason this clutch thing was a problem was because to replace the clutch on this car was around £400.00 as it required “removing the engine”! Go figure ….anyway, the nice Cid suggested we have a raffle, a rigged raffle and that my car was the prize! This Car sales Cid was known to be a real raffle junky and wasn’t too popular with the other Cids. We rigged it so that whatever ticket he got would be the winner.
I would lose the car, but he would get egg on his face!
All the other Cids were aware of this little jape and the raffle duly came and he duly won it. His face was a picture as the prize was known to be “A Car”! His face was not such a pretty picture when he went outside and saw the car he had won! All the other Cids thought it was really funny, but he was apoplectic! He ranted about having not known the car was crap and that his mother in law (yeah right) had not had any problems with it. “I” was avenged and it was good. Of course, it “could” have been a scam for him to sell me the car and then get it back! In which case hmmmmmmmmmmm I taste omelette!
Frankly, while there are so many nasty shits roaming our planet, I am grateful there “Are” Police. What I would like to see are the thousands of Police who have been convicted of an offence, “Summarily dismissed” with no pension. “That” would be a start.
