"A Moral dilemna"

I have heard the words “moral compass” a few times recently and so I wanted to waffle on about it.

It seems to me the word “Moral” is a very divisive one. There are no actual rules just a general expectation of how one should behave. “I” for example have NO morals. I don’t want any either, it should be then, that as I have none, there can’t be any argument!

“of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical: moral attitudes.” I mean, how bloody subjective is that lot!

The “elite” have none either, how could they. Politicians too. I am not going to list the multitude of “wrongs” done by the above they should be bleedin obvious to us all by now, but I am surprised that there are still people who blindly follow a “Moral path” they may say “yes, well, they are MY particular set of morals” but that is bollocks! They only have them because they were taught them and they generally work well in their particular world. When Aldous Huxley wrote “and the judge looked at the man in the dock and had to look away because he briefly saw himself” he was expressing perfectly normal natural state of affairs. “It’s wrong to kill”? No it isn’t, “It’s wrong to steal” no it isn’t, “It’s wrong to Lie, cheat, fiddle, etbloodycetera! I don’t think ANY of the so called “Bad” things are necessarily “Bad”! Obviously it “all depends on the circumstances”. If you rip me off and I can’t get recourse via the law, I will rip you off right back. If that makes me Immoral” bring it on!

Why do big businesses get away with what we would rightly call “immoral behaviour”? Because they are NOT human, a business is just that. And “You” are considered a “Business” if you deal with them. Anyway I digress……. The reason for the “Moral Blog” is because I was thinking about whether it would be considered wrong to do something to satisfy a nagging suspicion.

I could say, “bollocks", if I am unhappy about a feeling I should dispense with the cause and move on” but you see, the problem is, I feel I need to KNOW if my feeling is justified! I simply cannot go through life “Wondering” as well as “Wandering”! One is enough!!

Of course if everybody was truthful there wouldn’t be any dilemma! But let’s not delude ourselves; most moral compasses these days need a damn good “re-calibrating”

Plus, all compasses have 360 degrees, you can’t just go north! If you do you will miss loads of potentially interesting things.

Someone mentioned the “Trolley problem” to me the other day and I thought, fuck it, I would make “whatever decision” FELT right at the time! It isn’t a dilemma for me,

It goes like this:

A trolley is running out of control down a track. In its path are five people who have been tied to the track by a mad philosopher. Fortunately, you could flip a switch, which will lead the trolley down a different track to safety. Unfortunately, there is a single person tied to that track. Should you flip the switch or do nothing?

Firstly, if “That” was ALL the information available, being a supporter of the Optimum population trust (now renamed population matters) I would probably save the one. However, there could be a plethora of reasons to make the other choice from age to gender to personal knowledge of the victims; it’s a bit of a daft scenario. One thing is for sure “Nothing” isn’t an option!

A more interesting “dilemma”? Would be (for me) you believe someone is or has lied to you or deceived you or stolen from you. The evidence is within your grasp but to get it, you must essentially “spy” or go through their things. If you are correct about your suspicion but do nothing, they get away with it, if you succumb to the curiosity and do the deed, you have essentially done something else “underhand” but what if you are proved right? (Moral dilemma, “The ends don’t justify the means”!) “Bollocks”!! We use “Spies” all the time in order to be aware of other country or persons behaviour/actions. We simply apply a “Justification” in that instance. Personally I don’t give a fuck what my country says “we need to know”! They haven’t seen fit to let me know “WHY” so I do not agree on the course of action. If they deem it important enough to seek my approval to “govern me” they sure as hell need it to make the decision to sell bombs to despots. You NEVER see that one in the manifesto!

So back to the “sneaky peeking” if you do nothing and the person “Had” been lying or whatever, then they have got away with it. If you do “Something” you have also committed a “wrong”. So, so far we have “two wrongs”! And what do they make?? “Wrong”! No, I mean, “Right”! No, what I “mean” is, two wrongs do NOT automatically NOT make a “Right”? Forgetting about the juvenile “two wrongs don’t make a right” crap, what they may well do is, make a difference upon which you can, “make a decision”! “A VALID decision. What we need to remember is if you were right, then they started the whole fucking problem by being deceitful! That is to say; don’t fuck with me; if you fuck with me then I am definitely going to fucking fuck with you! “Fuck it” Simple, do you know, no matter how many times I look at this type of dilemma, I simply can’t come to another conclusion. It just seems absolutely fair to me. (This is how I feel)

This scenario has happened in my life where “I” have been “caught out” and when “They” have been caught out. What interests me most is when “I” have been sussed, I blub and stick my hands up! “It’s a fair cop guvnr” but when it’s been the other way round! Blimey!  Have the banshees been let loose or what! “How dare you blah blah blah”!  I can never get my head around the discovery of the “original” issue suddenly being relegated to a “secondary issue”!!!

(This is what I do)

My attitude these days is; if I have a suspicion or a feeling something isn’t quite right, I decide to accept my feeling as the truth and leave it at that. In other words “I do nothing” which is contrary to the Trolley Problem. Yes they get away with it maybe but if I do something underhand it always comes back on me, all I can say is may the same fortune smile on you.

Just re-read this and ALL the instances of the world "Dilemna" have been changed to the American! 

E&oe. All of the above is entirely fictitious, all characters and scenarios are also fictitious. I reserve my right to change my opinion/mind at any time and bollocks to the royal welding.

Unemployable

I was thinking about how many jobs I have had in 35 years and remembered that at 22 it had already reached 80. Some only lasted a few minutes before I realised I couldn’t be arsed and some lasted as long as……… 2 months! There were a load of “training courses” included in that number and a few attempts at self employment. The one thing that did remain “constant” was “Boredom”! I quickly became bored with all of it.

I went to the “Employment advice centre” in BSE once and had a full assessment of what I could do. The man who saw me was a retired businessman who after 2 weeks of deliberation kindly informed me, “I was Unemployable”! NOT because I wasn’t capable of any particular job, but because he thought I was more “Self employed” material. Problem was, that at the time the DHSS considered a “Bucket and ladder” the best way to get people started, I think it was more likely they didn’t want to invest any more money than the cost of same!

Now I am NOT work shy! But I DO insist that if I am to provide MY labour in return for money, I would like the lion’s share of that money for myself. I haven’t really managed to get beyond 80% of it going on “Living” expenses and a little “Pocket money” left for me, so I am not going to do that. I have looked quite carefully at the rise in living costs over the years and the “Lack” of rise in earnings, the most obvious example being the cost of a house/flat whatever. It was once possible to buy one on your tod with a mortgage that could be dealt with in 25 years! That is no longer possible for the average earner, that tells me, “we are being shagged” it has been a sneaky steady increase in what one pays to live and has been largely ignored because the anaesthetic is television. I haven’t watched it for 6 months now and I find my brain is starting to get stimulated again. See the problem for me is, I am easily led into falling for the “shiny” things! Yes, I loved expensive clothes and watches. For fucks sake, I have “Zimmerli” underwear! There is a photo on my FB I looked at yesterday and realised that every piece of clothing was a “Label” not just an average designer label, oh no, jacket was a 100% Cashmere blazer, shirt, Brioni, Tie, Emilio Pucci, Watch, Cartier, socks, Pantherella, Trousers,  Loro Piana, Boots, John Lobb and yes Undies, Zimmerli! Now had my name been Alan Sugar or Donald Trump, I might have been able to get away with it but FFS, I was potless! Slowly but surely I am getting rid of all these “Illusions” on eBay. I had suckered for Mark Twain’s quote “Clothes make the man” they may well have had an influence on how one was viewed back in the 1880’s and it would still help open a few doors today but that is totally “Dishonest”! I have even been refused work because the interviewer was “Intimidated” by my appearance, a professional recruitment company in NZ told me “try and dress down” as you will find it hard to get a job looking too smart!

Having been “dishonest” in my life I know it is useless. I don’t want to be dishonest in any areas anymore; it’s a fucking trial having to maintain an illusion in both appearance and manner. It is also what keeps the status quo, rich, poor, them us etc. as long as I have a hole in my arse I will not accept there is any justification in one man having billions when billions have nothing. I am not a socialist, I just don’t see why “Hard work” should ever result in little reward and some do very little and get millions. If “I” worked hard to build up a business and it made millions and was the result of help from all the workers then the share should be more equal.

When I call a call centre and get some slack mouthed indolent tosser who is of no help, I am NOT going to be surprised!

Where am I going with this? Well, if I had left school and pursued a course of action not unlike the one most people have followed, and then after 35 years realised that things were not any better than when I left school, “I would be majorly pissed off”

How many times have the goal posts moved! And if you say “ah, that’s life”! I am certainly going to reply “Is it”!?

Going to watch the “Royal”? Wedding this weekend? Remember the last one? If I were Kate, I would try my best not to piss off Philip and steer well clear of Paris! “I” don’t know what really happened, but then “No one does”! Suffice to say it was about as honest as a banker.

Wiki leaks are only a problem because they don’t want us to know the devious bullshit that goes on in our name. And whether we like it or not, it’s ALL about flogging guns and buying oil!

And the worst of everything is the Media. They know full well that if they run a story and then pull it, it will be forgotten about quite quickly! My problem if you like, is I still remember “Stephen Waldorf” Sean Greenhaulgh, Ben Lewis’s report on the Art scam, all the things that have quietly gone away but the shit that created or surrounds them is still happening. You may say, well, the Stephen Waldorf” thing is done and dusted? What about “Ian Puddick” then? Waldorf just got pistol whipped, Puddick is being “Terrorised”! That seems like a major escalation of tactics. And what are millions of people going to do this weekend? “Watch the |Royal wedding and wonder who designed her dress!

Raymond Baxter told me all sorts of brilliant things would happen by now, and I fell for it! That really pisses me off. 

I just proofed the above before deciding to post it and I thought “what a load of aggressive reactionary disjointed anger that is! But then, I still believe it, I did think, but I am not that angry!! I have a great laugh generally; I love to find humour in life, “fuck me”  “I have to”

Luckily, all that is how I feel and I don’t have to make it my life’s story. All I insist on is keeping well aware of my surroundings and a weather eye on when I need to get out the crossbow and dig in!

“Coming soon, Relationships”! (I should cocoa)

"Nocturne"

3:45am and sleep just ain’t happening. It is always the early hours that my mind starts working. I start to “analyse” and this time I was analysing “thinking”!

It has been said that “I think too much” usually accompanied by “and don’t DO enough”!! That makes me laugh. “Thinking” burns a huge amount of calories! Anyway, I was giving thinking some thought and it started to dawn on me (in more ways than one given the hour) that being an “analyst” isn’t such a bad thing, even unfettered analysis. I am well aware that my thought processes are a little random; I am also well aware that I allow my mind free reign and that it sometimes takes me to very odd places, but what is wrong with that? As I write this for example, there is no real direction! I just have a “thought” and want to see where it goes.

There are already “plenty” of minds working away in “One” area. Even on a metaphysical level, I have seen the effects of “restraining” the mind to one particular area of focus and I “think” that is folly.

A friend once explained the “cocktail effect” of food and all the other things we have around us like, deodorant, shampoo, soap, smoke, whatever. Tests carried out to decide what is “safe” to eat and in what combinations, give us a feeling of security when eating whatever it is, but, did these tests take into account the absorption of chemicals from your clothes, shampoo, deodorant? I think not! It would be impractical to carry out a test that took ALL permutations into account. Our bodies being an incredibly intricate organism can and do get affected by the tiniest of atoms/molecules and we don’t have a Scooby doo if it caused the Cancer we got or the allergy. So; I was doing this thinking and relating it to the capacity of the brain, and it’s potential. We all know it is said we only use a fraction of it and let’s be honest, some don’t even use that! Personally I believe that whatever “I” can “think” is possible. I don’t know why, but it seems to me that if I can “think it” it can be done! And I am not talking about becoming an X Factor star or making a million. It may sound arrogant but they are just simple mechanisms that are more or less “controlled” by a set of circumstances influenced by others. I met a guy here in Spain many years ago who had a yacht worth 300,000 pounds, he paid 120,000 for it and couldn’t get his head around the fact that if he wanted it re-upholstered, it would cost a load of money, “But I only paid 120k for it” he said, I replied, “yes, but it still has the maintenance of a 300k yacht”! he also bragged about, “having a 120k yacht and 250k in the bank” his bragging would be laughable if he was saying this to a man with a 200k yacht and half a million in the bank! His thinking was “limited” to numbers and costs, a very low being on the brains scale despite his reasonable financial wealth. Some would say yes, but he is being successful in “this” life! But if the person who designed his yacht had limited “His” thinking to the same level, he would not have had a yacht. All the people who make huge amounts of money are technically useless! It is the “creators” who are the worthy.

I thought about “facebook” and I thought, “What a fantastic opportunity for the human race to connect” the biggest “family” possible. And then I thought about the internet in general and must admit, I think it is the most stunning thing to have ever happened to mankind! There isn’t anything off limits now the entire knowledge of human endeavour now available to everyone! And what is it used for mostly?.............”pornography” and social networking! (Which quite often become one and the same thing online) I am astounded that after so many years of this available technology, we haven’t progressed beyond inane social sites and Porn! Sure, there are people who do use it for the feeding of the grey cells, but not the vast majority of us. I think if we did, there would be no war, Cancer would have been eradicated, and the levels of intelligence in school leavers would have increased not “decreased”! (I am talking “en masse” here not the individuals who ARE developing)

Surely we can agree that “communication” is key to growing? If so, what are we using this magic to “communicate”? A load of puerile nonsense is what! “Mafia wars! “My friend answered a question about you” on facebook apps! “Farmyard”! What the fuck!  I am seriously hoping that one day soon, we will wake up to the potential the internet has given us and say “right, that was fun, diversion over, now let’s sort out the fucking mess we created” ( I am not going to hold my breath!)

My dream is that we very soon create a symbiosis between technology and ecology; it IS possible to have a “green planet” and an ubertechnical one and it IS known by those who organise us, but unless we tell them in much larger numbers than from the lobby of small groups, they will ignore it. At the moment it is “too fucking slow”!

When a disease is in a tree, it is no good pruning a visibly affected limb, you need to uproot the bastard and burn it!

Its 5am and I just went up to try and grab a couple of hours and the moment my head hit the pillow… the bloody floodgates opened!

I tried to imagine what it would take for there to be a major shift in consciousness. Bearing in mind the shift of which I speak is heavily biased towards peace and positive human growth, and I thought about the 60’s and the peace and love movement. “There were millions of them”! Fucking millions of people all wanting peace and harmony and love and a better world! The music? All about banning wars and love and peace and shit, “Man”! What the hell happened?? I tell you what happened; they were all stoned! A few went off and lived true to their beliefs and the rest capitulated and became accountants and office bod’s they continued getting stoned and it all fizzled out like a damp squib. And the machine marched on, weapons got smarter Banks got richer, and a drive to find “instant” pleasure thrived. “There” was an opportunity to galvanise a change in consciousness that was missed or defeated! We got some great Art out of it, and Music and some cracking books, probably got a lot of herpes and HPV too as a result of “free love”! “Enlightened relationships” and what have you. My feeling? I don’t think being “peaceful” about change works. We have sat around for 60 years watching Arab countries be ruled by despot’s dictators and tyrants and we have allowed it to go on so we could get “Oil”, now the people have had enough and are doing the ONLY thing that works to any degree, and it ain’t “peaceful”! The west didn’t help over the last 60 years but now we want to help them? We didn’t supply any of them “despot or revolutionary” with the means to create a peaceful solution, we provided both sides with guns and bombs! It was a cast iron gold plated inevitability they would use them, and bet your last one “a few people” will get even richer off the back of it. Hey, I am no Einstein but doesn’t it seem incredibly simple to you too! And if so, why are you not (for those who aren’t) using the social network to make a noise about it? Do you think it won’t make any difference? Well, the social network managed to get enough support and pressure to get an abused Elephant released from the scum that were “caring” for it!

Take a look at Ian Puddick on facebook, this guy was/is being terrorised by the murder squad and terrorist squad for ………..”Grassing up an adulterer to his employers”! And he has…………….662 supporters on his facebook. Now I think we can do better than that surely? Which brings me neatly on to “relationships”!

I am crap at them.

Viva el Toro, "Suerte"

Running with the Bull tomorrow, not me I hasten to add! It sounds so “romantic” doesn’t it? “Running WITH the Bull”?

I have to admit, I gave thought to doing it too. It sounds “exciting” Dangerous, Adventurous, in a sort of “Hemingway” kind of style. But I have pledged my support to trying to stamp out ANY forms of animal abuse and so I decided despite it being an opportunity to experience “Real Spain” it was not going to sit well with what I believe.

I think “running” with a Bull might still be an exciting thing to do though; but I decided it would be braver and more challenging to do it on equal terms. Give the Bull the freedom to give me a heart attack on open territory! This poor beast will be funnelled into a town with hard streets on a long rope. There will of course be an opportunity to give someone the Horn, and call me callous, but if it happens, then bravo Bull! If you are prepared to run with it, then prepare to be gored by it and don’t complain if it gores you!

I remember a field of cows with calf’s in Richmond that were mingling with the Wensleydales from Izzy Lane. Isobel and I were walking in these fields and a silly Sheep had been butted into a ditch by one of the cows. It was still trying to butt the sheep even though it was stuck and so I ran at the cow and punched it on the nose. It looked at me with vague contempt and sauntered off back to the herd. It wasn’t a brutal punch but it got the message. I then helped the hapless Wensleydale out of the ditch and it too looked at me with disdain! I think the cow saw the sheep as a threat to its calf why it didn’t see me in the same light I don’t know, but it seemed reasonably fair for me to approach the problem this way. It could have trampled me but didn’t.

Now obviously it would have been slightly different had it been a “Bull”! I might well have thought twice, but then again, I might not! My concern was for the poor helpless Wensleydale. I think other animals know when fear is present and also when it isn’t and most of them will think twice when faced with “equal aggression” there are cases of a lowly cat seeing off a Puma for e.g. and I know someone who yelled and screamed at a large wild Boar and it left her alone! This Bull in town though, will have noise and much activity and taunting, that would surely make it confused and both angry and defensive!? Not a “Fair” situation at all.

I then thought of going to photograph the spectacle but now, I don’t want to be anywhere near witnessing it and so, shall toddle off to the  woods maybe and listen to the wild, without human interference.

Viva el Toro, “Suerte”

Being an Aquarian..............

Being “Aquarian” I am apparently “A little odd”! which is strange, because I “don’t FEEL odd” in fact I would go so far as to say, despite my ramblings, my affinity with certain groups, I have an abiding sense of “normality” and by that I really mean straight, fair, courtesy, civility and justice. Of course all of those are subjective and differ in interpretation depending on the society one lives in. if one is a tribesman in the boonies of South America, it is ok if you are first back to the village after a hunt trip, to sleep with someone else’s wife. Burping may seem rude in the west but is considered very correct in some countries. And lopping off a limb is perfectly acceptable as a punishment for swiping something in other countries. Quite frankly, I find all three, unacceptable. I am wondering where we as a race are heading?

I always thought it would be a good thing to reach ever higher in our quest for whatever we are questing!

Necessity is the mother of invention apparently and I am now wondering what is “Necessary”? What is “really” necessary? Not what we “Think” we need as a direct result of the particular society we live in. you “think” you need that McDonalds? No you don’t, you need a carrot or cabbage, you “Want” a McDonalds and you probably “Want” it because of some mysterious marketing or mass hypnosis. An addiction we don’t think of as an addiction.

I was thinking about these small hidden communities in South America and wondering why they had remained the same for centuries-millennia, whatever it is they believe, has kept them in a perfect state for so long and their number has remained balanced and in harmony with their environment, while ours in the west has spiralled out of control and continues to do so. Most of us are absolutely dependent on the system continuing as it is, and it is NOT a good system! In a couple of hundred years we have gone from being able to float in a balloon (Montgolfier bros) to unmanned drones bombing the fuck out of whatever. And apparently, we have sent men to the Moon! But our cars still use rubber to roll on and internal combustion to propel, just like they did in the beginning! Every piece of technological advancement has been in the “how to get more money out of the people” sector.  And just about ALL of it has been based on “Oil” consider the following:

If the sunshine radiating on the surface of an area 100 miles wide by 100 miles long would provide all of the electricity that America needs, every day, why would Americans hesitate to use it? There are millions of open acres in the deserts of America, where the sun's energy does nothing more than heat rocks and sand.

This is using CSP (concentrated solar power) a technology that has existed for quite a while now. There is NO justice while we are enslaved to Oil. If that philosophy makes me “Odd” then odd I bloody well am! The reason we don’t get it is because you can’t really justify making us pay for it! What do you think it “Actually” costs to make a mobile phone call? About fuck all is the answer! The technology and systems are in place and have been paid for a trillion times over, so now it is just a revenue generator, but we pay and pay and pay and say “ooh I got a great deal with carphone whorehouse or whoever, 500 texts included! Whoopfuckinee, I say. And the same will happen with energy.  And all is to satisfy………….. What? A “Need” we don’t really have! A “need” we have been conned into “thinking” we have. Physically we need food shelter and warmth the rest is window dressing at the expense of what our minds may achieve.

Being an “Aquarian”, I think like this!!

The Babble.

I

n the beginning there was the word, and the word was “Wood” it was a good word because verily one could use it to describe a thing that could be burned and therefore give warmth to the woefully inadequate hairless creatures that had been abandoned on this inhospitable planet.

Nobody could speaketh the “word” because the vocal chord structure had not developed beyond “grunting” which even so, was a great improvement on the oo oo a sound that had previously been the means of communicating.

A time passed (and it was a damn sight longer than seven days, I can tell you!) and many multiples of peoples happened. As a result of an overwhelming desire to respond to a totally natural feeling of wanting thex. (The vocal chords were still developing but hadn’t mastered the “S” sound)

One evening whilst sitting staring into the flames of the fire, a man thought to himself, “I am bigger and stronger than that other man and I want what he has” and so, he beat him about the head with a large piece of “wood” and did take all his possessions including his bird! And then, another man did the same thing and then another until………. There were many tough men causing all sorts of trouble for the weaklings. Another time passed and the tough men started fighting with each other until there was only one who could not be beat. He did organise the tough men into a hierarchy of strong men that would become “Lords and masters” and they did control all the weaklings and did make them work bloody long hours for very little!

After another interminably long period, the weaklings did “sneak out at night” and “Talk “and they talked a lot of nonsense until one day one of them actually had a good idea. They knew they couldn’t fight the masters with their fists so they decided to use their Brains. And so it came to pass that a “Story” would be made up about something you “Couldn’t see” you couldn’t get it here on Earth either so that would really pisseth of the tough men! The story would henceforth be called “The Babble” it would talk of Virgins and plenty, and it would counter this with fire and ugly people, this would surely anger the toughies and make them want it!

It was known that this story would take a long time to get any credibility but the weakling were patient also. They would add to the story with tales of eternal life and shit and talk of a “Great King” that would come and save the slaves

The weaklings too decided they needed a hierarchy and so decided to create priests and vicars and Rabbi and all kinds of strangely named positions. Many were slaughtered by the toughies because they were getting a bit “uppity” but the weaklings didn’t have any choice but to continue with the story. And soon they were legion and even the toughies knew they had a problem on their hands and so they “did a deal” with the top weaklings and agreed to milk the really dozy ones for all they could. It was the “double whammy”!

The toughies created “Laws” and the Storytellers created “fears” and lo, Joe Public was well and truly stuffed!

The Lords would ride over the lands stealing from the peasants and raping everything and the Church of the Babble would say “asketh ye the Lord for help”! And so many confused and distraught peoples had to make some decisions. Some would pay homage to the Lords and Masters and in return only have to accept being slaves, and the rest decided on the “Long shot” and went for the fairytales and everlasting life in a hitherto unproved place.

Another Age passed and many thousands of Believers of the Babble were slain. But this just strengthened the resolve of the weaklings and they did grow in number, the parents would tell these stories to the young susceptible children and that was a mean trick but it worked. The children grew up with this story and believed it to be true. Their number grew until the balance of power was in their hands! And then began……….. “The Dark ages” where the weaklings did nasty stuff to anyone who questioned the Babble. So many generations had passed and the “story” was now the law. And the “Law” was an Arse.

Chi Zeus:

A great Hippy who was called “Chi Zeus” had wandered the lands of the chosen ones many years before the dark ages and he was not best pleased with them! His Mother “Mary Jane” was cool but his father worked with…………… “The WOOD” and was a miserable git. Chi had visited one of the places of money worship and lost his rag at all the money lenders, he also visited one of the “Storytellers” and did “wipe the floor with him intellectually”! And so was banished.

Chi decided to visit India as it was known to be a place of great spirituality and cool drugs. And Goa was still pretty unspoilt.

He learned all sorts of clever tricks while he was there and learned that we could “ALL” do them if we managed to avoid being enslaved and brainwashed. He was beside himself, which even he admitted was a clever trick!

Chi, for some odd reason, thought he could teach the toughies and weaklings a new way and so he caught a Camel back to his home town and started telling “another story”. Chi knew these people were a bit thick and so he disguised his stories as simple parables in the hope they would get the message; they didn’t!

He explained many times the theory of allegorical symbolism but alas they just said “can you do that trick with the water to wine again, oh go on be a sport”!

Many years passed and he did draw unto him “12”! Disciples but one of them was a wrongun!

Jew D’ Arse  who Chi Zeus had renamed Judas (for obvious reasons!) had struck a deal with the Romans, he was in hock with Moshe the money lender for 4.5 pieces of silver but being a sensible Jewish boy, he negotiated an extra 1.5 pieces for a rainy day. “CZ” as he was known to his friends, was duly nabbed and then tried and convicted of being too nice.

But there was a special offer on at the time and the people were given the choice of a murdering blaggard called “Barabbas” or “CZ the peaceful”

“Hang the Hippy” they all shouted, and so it was done.

CZ had learned to slow his heartbeat down to a beat or two a minute and so when the Romans put their ears to his chest they decided he was done. He was taken down and stuffed into a cave with a sheet wrapped around him and when they did closeth the entrance to the cave with a big rock. CZ did awaken and piss himself laughing! It left a stain on the shroud and was a bugger to get out!

He then moved the rock using telekinesis and went back to India.

Back in the Dark ages there were some right old capers being done.

The lands and possessions were being divided up between all the nasty bastards and the peasant did wail much. But between brutal landlords and brutal churchmen he didn’t stand a hope in hell.

The landlords would scare the shit out of them with unambiguous threats of rape torture and disembowelling, and the church………..well, some of that too but also the big one. As if it wasn’t bad enough trying to make a few bob on earth, if you didn’t give it to one or other of the toughie groups, you could “Go to HELL”!

The system went a little like this:

Farmer woodman tinker or whatever was told he needed “protecting” from other baddies and so he paid taxes to the toughies. The Church told him he needed “Protecting” from himself!! And so he paid them too. The toughies scared him with “Earthly” torment and the Church with everlasting torment!

But the peasant started revolting much and the toughies (who had now called themselves the establishment) decided to trick the peasant by holding elections which meant he could choose between one arsehole or another! And so it was done, and the peasant suckered for the con and it became accepted as normal. Although often with a curse.

The other side of Plod.

Back in the mid eighties I met a man who we shall call “Sooty” (That was his codename)

Sooty worked at Colchester CID and was the neighbour of a friend at the time. I was unemployed (Around the time of the great wind 87 I think)

Sooty befriended me and said I seemed like the type that might enjoy “adventure”! He was right, I did. The proposition went something like this:

Within the CID there is a “slush-fund” that is used to support/fund people who act for the police in certain covert operations. At the time there was a deal of interest in the “Socialist Workers Party” Sooty described it as a group that infiltrated March’s and rally’s and deliberately caused disruption. What the police wanted was someone on the ground to report back to them of the members and details about theses rallies.

He explained in detail how I was to go about getting involved and told me of the Guy who sold the SWP paper near Sheregate steps. He said I was to become “dishevelled” and just buy the paper and move on. I was to do this many times before the guy would suggest I might be interested in joining them or coming to a meeting.

He said that I should develop an appearance that might not be to my liking and that I should ignore friends or family if they saw me with these guys.

One of the conditions for me to take this one was that I should not have any outstanding warrants or fines or suchlike. The police would not want to use anyone with “Current” issues. In return things like my car tax insurance etc would be “taken care of” they wouldn’t pay me but would make sure I had no costs in certain areas.

He asked me to give him my full name so he could check me out at the nick and suggested I give the matter some serious thought as it was quite a dangerous situation to get involved in. he also said I was to tell absolutely no one about what he had told me including family and that he would simply deny everything if it came out.

Well “that” sounds like a jolly jape, I thought! Sort of “James Bond” without Brioni! Er, or a gun, or fancy car, or support or Q, in fact fuck all like James Bond really!

He said I should “think about it carefully as it could be dangerous!” and I would not be thanked appreciated or get any recognition for it. Well I decided to break the first rule straight away! My dad was Military Police for many years and I thought he might be able to give me some guidance, so I told him the whole thing and said “what do you think”? He simply replied, “You must make your own mind up”! It wasn’t quite what I wanted to hear, I wanted him to offer some guidance but I also thought just in case it goes pear shaped, I want someone to know what was happening.

A few days later Sooty came to me and told me I had a warrant out for my arrest! I was surprised but he said it was just for non payment of a £50.00 fine and that if I still wanted to be his bitch (he didn’t use that term!:)) then he would arrange for me to visit the Police station and it would all be sorted amicably. Otherwise, he said, I could just forget it and he would carry on as if we never met. No arrest no hassle from the Plod. Well, I wanted this warrant dealt with anyway; I didn’t even know I had any outstanding fines!

A couple of days later Sooty has arranged for me to go to the Station and be arrested and bailed with no fuss. I would appear in court and pay the fine and then I could start the shenanigans with the SWP.

Out of curiosity, I decided to see who this SWP guy was, Sooty had painted a nasty picture of him but I like to see for myself.

I took a walk into town and he was where Sooty said he would be. A geeky looking guy but with a look of menace in his eyes.

I was dressed in jeans and combat jacket with red and white polka dot scarf and so I didn’t think I looked “establishment” anyway.

As I walked passed him he offered me a paper. I stopped and thought “fuck it, why not” so I said ok. He then started talking to me, this wasn’t supposed to happen! Sooty had definitely said he would wait until he got to know my face. Well he didn’t, we talked and then he invited me to a meeting which was being held upstairs at the Blue Boar. I was simply going with the flow so I said ok and we left it at that.

I couldn’t get hold of Sooty before the meeting so decided to go anyway, after all, what harm could it do.

The meeting consisted of the SWP paper seller and 4 other people. It seemed Colchester didn’t have a very active branch yet and what he wanted was for us to recruit………Disempowered, unemployed, and generally rough and tough members. There was talk of why SWP was doing these rallies and yes the objective “Was” to disrupt them, it seemed more like an “Anarchist group” than a “Socialist” one.

He said we had to form a committee and needed chairman, treasurer, admin etc. I was made treasurer!  It was moving fast but at that age I didn’t give a damn, it was interesting!

So, meeting ended and we went our separate ways. I did make one mistake!! I gave him my home phone number!

I managed to get hold of Sooty later and told him what had happened, he was not happy! He said it was all too quick and he hadn’t even got “approval” to use me from his superior! “I” wasn’t best pleased either! So much for “it will take a while for them to accept me”! I wasn’t exactly prepared for this so soon.

It never happened in the end, Sooty didn’t contact me and I didn’t get involved with the SWP. The Guy called the phone a few times but I never followed any of it up.

“What would have happened if I HAD”? well, I decided that if I did get involved with them I would tell them what I had been asked to do and use the situation to turn it around on Plod! In just a few weeks I had gone from James Bond to Antony Burgess!

I am glad it never happened; I “talk” too much and would have made a lousy Spy.

update.

I know quite a few Policepeople and actually get/got on with them very well. One said to me many years ago that there was a very fine line between a Crook and a Copper and that some Coppers crossed it. Obviously it isn’t possible for a Crook to cross in the other direction! “He” can only go one better and become “Straight”!  I met one of these ex cops here in Spain; he had been medically discharged after having been thrown through a shop window by a nasty crook. He had sustained serious injuries as a result and was pensioned off. Some of the things he told me were quite incredible and mostly unrepeatable.

If you have read any of my previous ramblings, you will know I have had some pretty underhand treatment from the boys in suits but I never really thought it was odd! I accepted that there was a “game” being played and as a crook the odds were “stacked” (Luckily!)

Being an “Accidental crook” is complete stupidity! Just as in any other “occupation”, you just can’t do it properly by accident, you need training and the police score well on this level because an Accidental crook is usually a plonker whereas the CID are well trained. It’s no contest really.

I was brought up very well, well, what I mean is, I was given all the correct tools and had no misunderstandings about “right and wrong” (as defined by society) so I “Knew” lying was wrong (generally) and stealing (likewise, generally) I was also led to believe that society was a “Fair and just” place and that it functioned within certain honourable constraints. That, of course is total bollocks! It only does that if you “play along with it” and if you don’t want to play the same game, you are stuffed.

Anyway, I have found “uniformed Police” to be on the whole, good people working for bad people. The lower the rank the more honourable the intention. But unfortunately they have superiors who have agenda’s and those agendas are covert.

I met a guy here who was attached to Interpol; the circumstances by which I met him are best left out of it until or unless I get permission from the relevant people.

He was a nice guy and even suggested “throwing a spanner in the works” on one occasion that would have been “useful” to me. I didn’t take him up on the offer and certainly didn’t want to be “beholding” to him.

I was the Cook at the Foresters Arms in Colchester back in the eighties and this Pub was frequented by all sorts of Law industry workers. Including CID, I even got invited to the CID ball once!

One of the Cids sold me a car while I was there. He used to be a car sales man before joining the force. It was a blue Citroen GSA. I paid £200.00 for it and it was fine for…………..a day! Then the clutch went. I was recounting this event to a Cid one day and he was very angry at the other Cid. There was going to be a party of Cids at the pub celebrating some event and I was tasked with providing the food/buffet. I did consider putting half a kilo of Cascara or sennapods in the buffet but thought better of it.

The Cid who was pissed off at the Car sales Cid suggested we get him back!

The reason this clutch thing was a problem was because to replace the clutch on this car was around £400.00 as it required “removing the engine”! Go figure ….anyway, the nice Cid suggested we have a raffle, a rigged raffle and that my car was the prize! This Car sales Cid was known to be a real raffle junky and wasn’t too popular with the other Cids. We rigged it so that whatever ticket he got would be the winner.

I would lose the car, but he would get egg on his face!

All the other Cids were aware of this little jape and the raffle duly came and he duly won it. His face was a picture as the prize was known to be “A Car”! His face was not such a pretty picture when he went outside and saw the car he had won! All the other Cids thought it was really funny, but he was apoplectic! He ranted about having not known the car was crap and that his mother in law (yeah right) had not had any problems with it. “I” was avenged and it was good. Of course, it “could” have been a scam for him to sell me the car and then get it back! In which case hmmmmmmmmmmm I taste omelette!

Frankly, while there are so many nasty shits roaming our planet, I am grateful there “Are” Police. What I would like to see are the thousands of Police who have been convicted of an offence, “Summarily dismissed” with no pension. “That” would be a start.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/convicted-police-officers-still-on-the-force-met-chief-reveals-473533.html